I am so stressed at having to do my whole move alone while my dh has to report to Italy well before me that I just want to cry....he's highly upset that he cannot help me with anything due to timing, and improper communication.

We're just about ready to swap out to somewhere else.

I know eventually I'd hate that decision, but it's like the army doesn't want me and our girls to go at all. So please remind why this is gonna be worth it.

Why is Italy such a great place to live/experience?

I have never lived elsewhere, but I am convinced Italy is the best country in the world, especially if you don't have to worry about VISA, finding a house and getting a job.
You have all of this, so consider that it is easier than for a lot of people on this forum who really took the plunge all on their own, selling everything they had behind and starting a new life in Italy from zero.

Plus, your family will benefit about it.
HOw many other country would you prefer to live in? In cold east europe? in hot north africa?
c'mon!

At least if we were going on our own, I wouldn't have to do it alone.....

But I do understand that it's much easier with the army. I'm mostly upset about the red tape because it's messing up me having some help. I can't do it all alone. There is such a lapse in communication of info and time is not on our side.

I just need some quaint little mental images of great things about Italy to get me through and motivate me lol. For right now, once dh is gone, that'll be all the motivation I'll need because I'll just want to be where he is no matter where it's at.

There are lots of beautiful places to go and enjoy near Vicenza. Bassano del Grappa with its rustic wooden bridge, Lake Garda and the gorgeous Dolomiti Mountains (see http://www.italiancyclingjournal.blogspot.com/ for some great pictures). It's really an excellent location.

Have you talked with these folks http://www.gordon.army.mil/acs/Relocation/index.htm ? Besides newcomwer servces, they provide counseling and help for outprocessing families as well. Another place to start is your husband's First Sergeant. He will be able to refer you to other post agencies that can help you with your move.

Hi Jessi,

I joined this website to be able to answer 'your' posting.

Don't despair!

You think you are facing a huge big wall in front of you with all the problems that moving to Italy can cause but just remember that this wall is made up of many bricks.

You only have to deal with one brick at a time & with a little concentration (& no distraction) you will have taken care of enough beaurocratic 'challenges' to be able to jump over what is left of this wall.

Control your thoughts, look at your challenges from another angle and you will get another perspective of the situation.

Italy is definitely worth the effort!

Think of the history this country alone has to offer the world. Rome itself has a display of 2600 years of layered history... impressive!

With a healthy sense of humour (on your part) the italians will gladly teach you how to appreciate the different wines, cheeses, olive oils & never thought of combinations of all of these plus more to produce a great cuisine.

Each city has its own specialities, only think of how much you have to eat to really get to know Italy! ...thank god for the gyms...

You wanted some inspiration to get you through this move?

Italians will inadvertedly teach you about shopping. The piazzas are full of gorgeous looking people who love to experiment with fashion... handbags and shoes suddenly become interesting, colourful, individual accessories.

Routine becomes enjoyable: discover your favourite coffee shop to have your daily coffee and pastry and become friends with the local customers who are always 'curious' to know who is new on the scene, what do they do and what are they up to! (ever seen the show 'cheers'?)

not to mention, your afternoon coffee break or even the 'aperitif' happy hour.

Meeting with friends in the evening for a glass of wine with yummy nibblies on offer from the bar can often substitute dinner!

It is now springtime!!!

Beatiful sunny days make those Sunday drives either to the beach, mountains or to the lakeside an absolute joy.

I could go on for pages and pages...

Italy can be a bit of a headache but it is certainly worth it...

many expats have written books on Italy and their experiences so I know I am not alone in appreciating what this country (including the unusual aspects) has to offer!

as I said, don't despair.

all the best

Amanda
Ferrara

Bill you are a sweetheart. I am actually headed to ACS today. I know about the stress management classes and plan on taking them lol.

I don't deal with my hubbys 1 SGT. He does. He doesn't want me talking to his command, unless it's an emergency. He's very touchy about that. But he's been talking to them, and they are telling him we need to get to travel....and there is some stuff left on my end before that can happen (long story I won't bore you lol).

Thank you for the link! I think I'm gonna start putting up pics on my desk top and screen saver.

Amanda! You are so so sweet! Thank you.

I am trying lol. I'm a big picture person.

But all your points helped a lot. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, and welcome!

I personally cannot wait to find a little coffee shop. I've been wanting to find something like that over here for some time, with no luck lol.

Again thank you.

Well. I moved from one continent to another when I was sixteen by myself. Then I have moved many times in the US from states to states, city to city by myself. It wasn't easy, but it can be done. Soon I'll be moving to Italy again by myself.

It can be done. Be strong.

I can relate to your fears. I have been an AF wife for over 18 years and have been faced with doing things I did not know I could do. I moved to Japan on my own for our first over seas assignment(of many)and was scared to death (i had a small baby at the time). But I did it! I have learned a lot about myself and you will too. Never make decisions based on fear, and never give up your dreams...period! Have faith in your self and your strength. This wont be the first time that the Army makes things difficult for you but you will show them that you are the rock and strength behind your family
Im glad I wrote this note as my husband is leaving for a year to go to Turkey in 10 days. This was totally unexpected as we have already done several remotes. I just dont want to do it again But after writing to you..I realize that I have weathered too many storms to give in now. I can do it...and survive. You will too.

Take a look at our blog. Lots of fun things to do in Italy.

jlsmiles22, you CAN do it alone. I know it seems daunting, but it can be done and you only have to do it once. And you get to be with your husband once that's done.

For inspiration, I did it alone to a few different countries, nyc/carribean ragazza moved her whole life to Rome all by herself, and most inspirationally, my friend SallyCat moved all the way to Buenos Aires, bought an apartment, everything, on her own.

Please keep posting here and let us encourage you. It's going to be an amazing experience in the end, once all that moving stress has been done with. I promise

If you need some more inspiration you can always rent the movie Under the Tuscan Sun - full of great scenery and a good little story (albeit fictional) of a woman doing it all on her own.

Besos from Argentina!

I loved that movie lol (under the tuscan sun)

It's not the being alone part that scares me so much, it's not having any help with the kids while doing it.


I feel better about the whole ordeal now. But dh is having trouble graduating advanced training because of a knee injury. Everyone pray/hope that he passes his physical training test this Wed (basically he'll have to run through the pain) or he'll lose the Italy assignment.

Nothing like the fear of losing it to remind you how much you really want it.

Thank you everyone.

Good luck for your husband this wednesday. Hope he passes his medical and you all get the OK.

If I can add my bit, don't worry and just go with the flow. Italy is not a place that you can "plan", but things do work out. Honestly. Keep your sense of perspective and your sense of humour, and don't worry if your plans don't materialise the way you thought they would. If you can think flexibly and "creatively", you'll have a ball in Italy!

This forum is a really good place to get support and encouragement, and you can at least relax knowing that many, many people have trod the same path as you, and come across (and vaulted) the same difficulties and hurdles. Relax - it will be fine!

Fingers crossed for your husband.

When I was a kid (dad was in the navy), movers came and packed everything. I remember my dad being a little mad because they packed the soap right in the soapdish out of the shower.

Doesn't the military provide movers anymore?

Yes, the military will pack and move all your furniture and your car for free. They'll reserve your flight and pay for it. They have free lodging set up for you when you arrive. They have Italian employees who help you find an appt in Italy, and help set up utilities. They have appliances and armadi you can use for free while in Italy. And they handle your visa, permesso di soggiorno and car registration for you.

Still I think it would be challenging to come over with kids without the help of your spouse. Just physically handling them through the airports and on the plane would wear me out. Takes a special strength to be able to do that. Sounds like Jessi's got it!

Bill said it wonderfully......thanks for the vote of confidence.

Yes I am well aware that the military will make the move pretty smooth.....


There is a lot more than the movers just coming and packing your stuff, you need to list everything you want to be sure you get back.....if it's not on the list, then you can't prove it was there, and you have to include serial numbers, and for good measure pics proving there was no damage is pretty useful as well.

Also movers do not disassemble things.....you have to have everything ready to be packed, all pics off the walls etc...much easier than packing yourself, but still a lot of work with 2 small kids. Of course my husband is going to try to have as much done as possible before he leaves, but it's still a good bit of stress.

I don't know what your financial resources are but there are people you can hire to help you with this...they are called Professional Organizers (no not the labor kind) if you are interested you can email me and I will tell you how to locate one in your area....It is what I did in a past life....

quote:

There is a lot more than the movers just coming and packing your stuff, you need to list everything you want to be sure you get back.....if it's not on the list, then you can't prove it was there

I've always been lazy and let the movers fill out the inventory sheets. You check over it and sign it when they're finished. If something's missing when they unpack, you note the missing item on the paperwork. Then you file a claim at the legal office and they get the money from the moving company.

I'm horrified at losing something or something not being right......in fact my hubby wouldn't even consider an army move (vs a dity move) if it wasn't overseas lol.

I'm only gonna take pics and write down serial numbers of valuable stuff, like our wii, and flat screen tv etc....

I will be letting them do all the little stuff lol.

quote:

I'm only gonna take pics and write down serial numbers of valuable stuff, like our wii, and flat screen tv etc....

That's a very good idea. If something is damaged/lost, you can give them the model number so they can look up replacement cost.

One improvement now is you can get replacement value instead of current value. By the time they figured depreciation into the current value in the old days, you ended up receiving pennies on the dollar. See http://www.sddc.army.mil/Public/Personal%20Property/Ful...ment%20Value%20(FRV) .

Make a list of everything, include a value for each item on the list and make sure the insurance co. has this list before the move. In our move, several things were damaged. We took pictures of the damage, sent them along with our assessed value to the insurance co. and they paid for everything that was on the list. But refused to pay a dime for a couple of things that were not on the list. They weren't really valuable so no big deal.

Try not to be too horrified if something isn't right. I can just about guarantee that there will be something broken or missing, but short of it being an irreplaceable heirloom (which probably shouldn't come over), you can overcome it. We had some confusion between the shipping and storage boxes - ended up with two that were supposed to go to storage and I'm pretty sure one of my kitchen boxes that was supposed to come ended up in storage since only half of my measuring cups are here. But, you just accept that there's nothing you can do about it now and go on.

I sympathize with you, though. We moved in January while both kids were in school all day. The movers showed up right after the bus left in the morning. I stayed home to supervise while hubby worked. I got a lot of exercise running up from the basement to the 2nd floor everytime someone had a question about what was going where. I dread having to do the same thing in a couple of years - with movers that barely speak English (if at all)! Hope my Italian is decent by then...

We take everything that isn't getting packed (yes, including the garbage, cleaning supplies) and lock it in a separate room (or big closet if you've got one). Otherwise the movers will pack everything- your luggage the clothes you're planning to fly over with, your passport, etc).