Is it just in Florence or maybe Italy or maybe Europe, but does it seem like young people in Italy are much more affectionate to each other in public than perhaps I am used to in the US?? I have seen young Italian couples mugging down (making out - open mouth kissing) for what seems like hours on the streets, on bridges, in cars, on scooters...My wife and I saw a couple mugging down (making out) on the Ponte Vecchio while we were having lunch at restaurant on the South Side (can't remember name) and after a 3 course meal and dessert, they were still at it...I have seen young couples laying down on park benches in the middle of the day all over each other 'fooling around'..nothing graphic, just a lot of heavy petting and what we used to call 'mugging down' (for the older generation...making out I guess). Nothing wrong with this, but public affection to that extent is usually frowned upon. Usually we used to see this behavior only when we would be out at a bar or club and alcohol had impacted judgement, but even then you would hear people say, "Damn, get a room...". Anyone else notice this here in Florence, Italy, Europe? I also seem to notice that some of the young guys in Florence seem to be much more 'needy' (for lack of a better word)...I observe guys constantly huggin and kissing and petting the girl he is with even when she clearly wants to be left alone...anyone else notice any of this behavior?? Not bad, just a different culture I guess....
Not bad, but not great either....I prefer that much affection be kept private, but I guess some people like their PDA...Public Display of Affection. When I see that much PDA, it is like they are trying to show the world they are with someone....I think you accomplish the same with a nice hug and holding hands and a peck hello/goodbye but different strokes for different folks....
I think it's because they live at home until they're pushing 40 so there's nowhere else to go. You might say "so why don't they wait until their parents are out?" But they surely share a room with at least another sibling so I can imagine it's not easy, and with all those raging hormones at that age all that's left to do is go down to Ponte Vecchio.
Originally posted by Delina: I think it's because they live at home until they're pushing 40. You might say "so why don't they wait until their parents are out?" but they surely share a room with at least another sibling so I can imagine it's not easy, and with all those raging hormones at that age all that's left to do is go down to Ponte Vecchio.
Kinda figured that might have had something to do with it...
A young couple were sat in their car by the Arno, middle of the day, and they very clearly weren't chatting! Some things you do need a room for...!
Don't forget Florence has a huge student population. I'm guessing this could be a part of it.
Bill2, I don't think we're being prudes, even I think the affection shown here in Florence is a little excessive compared to other places I have been. I suppose it could also be the people come here for romantic holidays. Isn't it Cellini that has padlocks for undying love all around his bust on the Ponte Vecchio?
They can't carry on at home because their Mothers are there!!! In the US and other places where parents work outside the home things are hopping for young people in their own homes. Someone sounds jealous of what they see.
Posts: 2571 | Location (City & State): Connecticut, USA | Registered: 07 October 2005
In Buenos Aires the living situation at home is similar, and they have the perfect solution for this that I think Italy could adapt: The Telo! What is a "telo" you ask? It's a hotel where you pay for your room by the hour. And some of these are known to be really, really nice and romantic (while I'm sure there are also the rather questionable ones for other obvious purposes)... just perfect for couples who need a little bit privacy that they can't find at home.
Originally posted by Gil: They can't carry on at home because their Mothers are there!!! In the US and other places where parents work outside the home things are hopping for young people in their own homes. Someone sounds jealous of what they see.
In my case maybe put it down to natural english reserve ! Also with 2 kids in tow, and one of them a 3 year old, if anything I normally mutter "and this is what happens if you carry on"! So jealous, nah, far from it. A three year old in your 40's kills all that off very quickly!!
Also UK parents are a bit more open-minded, well my OH's were, so maybe culture and bigger houses play a part too!
Originally posted by Gil: In the US and other places where parents work outside the home things are hopping for young people in their own homes.
Ummm...and Italian mothers don't work outside the home? Where ever did you get that idea?
I agree with the others - when you live at home until age 40 and your parents don't allow your significant other to stay over you have no other option.
I've also noticed that a lot of Italian teens make out with their girlfriend/boyfriend to show off (look, someone loves me!) I often notice Italian couples snogging (making out) but obviously thiking less about their partner than how cool they look as they snog. I even once saw an Italian guy lips locked with his girlfriend checking out another girl over her shoulder as they snogged.
I've also noticed that a lot of Italian teens make out with their girlfriend/boyfriend to show off (look, someone loves me!) I often notice Italian couples snogging (making out) but obviously thiking less about their partner than how cool they look as they snog.
How do you distinguish projection from perception?
Ummm...and Italian mothers don't work outside the home? Where ever did you get that idea?
Expats????
Where? Salaries are so low here and jobs so scarce that I don't know anyone who has taken time off paid work or gone part time after having a baby here. You take your maternity leave and then go back to work full time. The attitude is that once you have a good job you need to hold onto it for life.
In the US, I knew a lot of women who took a few years out of their careers to devote to childcare - here that would be next to impossible.
Back to the original topic on this thread, when i first arrived 3 years ago i thought it was hilarious seeing all the cars parked up at all the scenic carparks. Reminded me of some of those american movies from the 50's (when i guess generally people did live at home until they were married??).
If you visit those same carparks during the day, you will find them full of tissues, condoms etc. We have a building site behind us, and they have built a carpark/ piazza as part of it. I commented it was good there was some parking (seems to be seriously lacking here!) and she just complained that it would become another tissue filled wasteland.....
To some extent, I think it's generational. It's probably true today that most parents can't afford not to work, but it wasn't necessarily true for the parents of today's teenagers or 20-somethings. Certainly, few if any of the mothers of the young adults in my neighborhood have ever worked outside the home.
Originally posted by Ramona: Where? Salaries are so low here and jobs so scarce that I don't know anyone who has taken time off paid work or gone part time after having a baby here. You take your maternity leave and then go back to work full time. The attitude is that once you have a good job you need to hold onto it for life.
In the US, I knew a lot of women who took a few years out of their careers to devote to childcare - here that would be next to impossible.
I've been thinking about this lately. No one seems to do part time here. Why is that? I know lots of mothers in England who went part time after having a baby, or took a break from working. Here I doubt they'd let you even go part time for some incomprehensible idea.
It's a hard situation. Let someone else raise your kid, or who knows what.....
Originally posted by professoressavanessa: all the cars parked up at all the scenic carparks. Reminded me of some of those american movies from the 50's (when i guess generally people did live at home until they were married??).
If you visit those same carparks during the day, you will find them full of tissues, condoms etc. We have a building site behind us, and they have built a carpark/ piazza as part of it.
The problem with "lovers' lanes" in Italy is that they're dangerous - some young couples have been dragged out of the car and killed, or the boy forced to watch while the girl is raped, etc.
I prefer that my daughter do whatever she's gonna do at home, where at least I know she's safe. My husband's parents were the same way with him, apparently.
It is true, young Italians cannot go home (since they live with mum and dad). They also like to do it (in the full sense of the word)in the car. When you see a car late at night pulled over with its hazards flashing dont stop to see if there is a problem.
Somebody said Italian men seem very needy and are always touching their girlfriends. Well yes they are insanely jealous and it does not seem to improve with age.
Worrying statistic - 55% of Italian men visit a prostitute at least once a year.
Someone mentioned part time working - it is the work place that has not adjusted, not the women.
Maternity benefits - are very generous and last years but on a sliding scale
Originally posted by Delina: But they surely share a room with at least another sibling
Delina, very few families have more than one child in Italy. Anyway, kissing in public is not done because there is no other place to go (cars and motels* do exist here!) it's done because it's not "unnormal". I kiss my partners (open mounth, tongue and all) on the street not because I feel the need to do so, just because it's normal. And, no: a "peck and holding hands" is not the same as a juicy long kiss with hands on his butt! And jealousy has nothing to do with it, one pretty jealous guy I know (not biblically!) would never touch his partner, but I do like physical contact: not just woith my partners, I like to touch friends as well, hold them and just generally feel the contact. Obviously, with a riend this has nothing to do with sex, it's friendly touching!
* Motels in Italy are the equivalent as Tina's Telos. I use them quite a bit, like most Italians with no apartment.
Alice, I said about the room sharing because if we are talking about people getting busy in cars, then we are talking about people around 18 years plus. I know the birth rate has reduced now, but I think a lot of the 18-30+ year olds do in fact have siblings.
quote:
I like to touch friends as well, hold them and just generally feel the contact.
Whatever floats your boat.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Delina,
Originally posted by Delina: I know the birth rate has reduced now, but I think a lot of the 18-30+ year olds do in fact have siblings
Actually I remeber that only about the 50% of my schoolmates had at least one sibling. We single children were not the majority but nearly so. Milano, born 1971.
...I prefer that much affection be kept private, but I guess some people like their PDA...Public Display of Affection. When I see that much PDA, it is like they are trying to show the world they are with someone....I think you accomplish the same with a nice hug and holding hands and a peck hello/goodbye but different strokes for different folks....
Please don't hold it against me, but my girlfriend and I were filmed in the Piazza Navona for the Sky TV Valentines promo that scrrened last year. I didn't see it, but apparently it features high levels of consensual non-erotic PDA. As long as it is clean (i.e. all individuals are still clothed and hands stay in non-sexual areas of the body on top of clothing), I don't object.
Posts: 42 | Location (City & State): Auckland, New Zealand | Registered: 25 May 2007
Expats in Italy Forum 
