Happy New Year to all! After passing my first Christmas and New Year in Italy, I have been reflecting on the close ties of Italian families, or more specifically, my boyfriend's family. I have been lucky enough to have them welcome me warmly. I get along really well with his mother and my boyfriend and I often go out together with his sister and her boyfriend. They are a very close family and talk every night on the phone with each other when we are not visiting them on the weekend. I think it is wonderful how much they help and support each other. On the other hand, it can also drive me crazy, since it means that his parents find it hard to be apart from their children. My working holiday visa will expire in February after being here for a year and I will need to go back to Australia for awhile to work and save money until my boyfriend finishes studying at university and then think about marriage (my income teaching English in Italy is not substantial for both of us at this time). My boyfriend does not want to leave Italy because of his family but it is also hard for me decide to commit to settling here since I will be far from my own family and friends and have less economic opportunities. Sometimes I think how much I like Italy, other times it is more difficult to be so positive and I just want to go home (let's face it - it's not so easy to regularly visit Australia). I have read how some expats really feel the need to be in Italy or how they love the country. I think I will miss it when I go home but I'm not sure how much. How did other expats feel after they decided to commit to staying in Italy? Was it hard to choose between Italy and their own countries?

Yes I suppose it is 'sort of hard to decide' for everyone. But we all have different reasons, which are at the same time also similar reasons, for our being here.
Sometimes it's a prospective partner, sometimes a matter of health,then again it could be just to escape the 'rat race'. And yet again it could be ones own 'personal' manner of escaping from seemingly insurmountable problems 'back home' (wherever 'home' might be).
There are some very long and very honest points of view in various threads on this site....Well worth a browse to see how others in your situation have come to terms with 'their personal decisions'!
But Good Luck anyway - with whatever decision you make!
Carole B.

Wow, what a tug-of-war!
That's a tough one. I truly feel for you.

I wish you well.

Well, at least here at this forum is a home you can take anywhere!
Make youself at home.

Ciao!

Hi Michelle,

It is hard. I should write a book on how to deal with MILs as I have had all of the battles. The nightly phone calls was just a small part of the difficulties. The most important thing is being able to find a happy balance with your boyfriend. He has to be willing to understand and accept your point of view. If he is, then it will all work out in the end. After 11 years here, I have to now remind my husband to call his mom every couple of days.

You might want to check out some of the threads about mother in laws.

P.S., did you get the email from Amazon.co.uk that I sent?

Hi Michelle
When I first came to Italy I really missed the closeness that my own family enjoys. My husband's family is not very close and I felt even more alone here until I formed a relationship with his sisters and my own circle of friends. I think you're lucky to find that warm family feeling in your BF's family. It'll help a lot if you do decide to stay here permanently. But as a lot of other people here will tell you, you have to be clear about your personal (you and BF) life and extended family and where the line is drawn.
Good luck!

Thanks for your replies. I am hoping the decision will be easier once I come back to Australia and see how life will be away from my boyfriend. I may decide to come back sooner than expected or wait until he comes to visit. We have been through many obstacles from being apart geographically so I think we can overcome this. I think I would have left Italy much sooner if it weren't for my boyfriend's understanding and support! My problems with adjusting to life here has mainly been dealing with the slower pace in a small town, lower economic situation, cultural differences, communication etc.

P.S Thanks Cristina - I did receive the amazon voucher and ordered a couple of books. A nice gift as I have limited access to english language novels.