Hello out there...

This week is a week of first for me:

1) my first trip to italy
2) my first european adventure that ended up as a bad idea
3) my first near death experience while driving in Italy
4) My 1st blog/post/whatever you call it..

I got here less than a week ago and I'm ready to go home. I've never felt more alone than I do now. I live in a small town in Italy, living in a small apartment, where I know no one and don't speak a word of Italian. From reading the other posts it seems like I shouldn't be complaining as it sounds like some really struggle to get to Italy and I sound like a spoiled brat complaining about my apartment!

But I don't know how to get over the lonliness. I go to work, I come home, i wait until midnight so I can call my fiance at home in the US, I cry. Rinse Repeat.

I ventured out and was brave this weekend, but had a few bad experiences that have caused my adventurous side to run away screaming and hiding...

Now what? Anyone have any good ideas on how to get over being homesick?

Here are a few more questions to help us help you...

- Why are you in Italy? Do you have a goal-objective or other?
- What do you expect to accomplish with your time here?
(This sounds like a stupid question, but it's important - what can you do while you are here? What do you want to learn?) I firmly believe that you can still turn a bad situation into a learning one, if not a good one.
- How do you expect to be treated? How are you treating others?

I think answering these questions may help you some....and just remember, Italy is a lot more than your particular town, your particular job, your particular situation as it is today...maybe you'll have to help the mountain come to you, so to speak.

You'll have to force yourself to do uncomfortable things, embarass yourself, and step out of your comfort zone. But pretty soon, those things become part of your normal day, you get less embarassed and you are more comfortable with new things and situations.

I remember the centro at Faenza very well indeed. It was market day and lots of Italian pensioners asked me for coffee because foreigners weren't so common, unless they were in the ceramics biz.
Get out! Go to Italian lessons! You are just down the road from Bologna-- great town-- and up the road from Cesena and some very nice seaside.
Have I been homesick? Sure. Did I get over it? Sure. If you sit by the phone in your flat you will miss all the fun.

Ciao e benvenuta!

The first thing you need to do is relax. Take a walk around town, buy a gelato or a drink if you prefer that, and just enjoy the environment. You're in ITALY!

Second, I strongly suggest that you do your very best to learn the language ASAP. Although you can get by using English and body language, it doesn't exactly open up for closer relationships. Is there a language school nearby? Can you get help from work?

Third, don't expect it to be like it is at home. You're on a different continent and things are different.

Make sure to activate yourself. DO things, no matter how small it seems at the time.
Be open. Go to the market to buy fruit or vegetables, or go to the local bar in the mornings for a caffe latte and a cornetto, and try the Italian words you learn. Smile and say Buongiorno! and Grazie! to the vendor, don't keep to yourself, don't be completely silent. Initiate conversations. Breathe.

Moving to a new country is not a walk in the park. It's a major transition, but you'll get used to it. Come here and vent as often as you'd like, meet other expats in your area.

Is there an university or some other school for adults in town? Put up a note there, ask if there is some girl (who knows English) who would like to show you around town.

Don't be afraid. Get out there.
And relax. You've only just arrived.

Hi,
Just a quick question--is this a permanent move or a temporary job-related move?

You called it your first "European adventure," so maybe you should try to think of it that way again. This is your opportunity to learn a new language, meet new people, explore new places.

Greet people you meet with a smile and a "Buon giorno." Practice your Italian (no matter how limited it may be), and you'll find people will try to help you and laugh with you when you make your many mistakes.

Maybe part of the problem is that you have a fiance back home, and you miss him. Sign up for Skype so that you can talk to each other without charge whenever you want (keeping that time difference in mind, of course ).

And take it from me--someone considerably older than you--the opportunities we get when we are young will not always be available, and these experiences and adventures can never be duplicated. Try to relax and take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. It WILL get better. Enjoy.

The first few days in a foreign country somestimes are the hardest, especially if you are here alone. it's stressful because you don't have anyone to share the experience with and to vent to, plus everything is so different from what you were used to, and if you don't speak the language you can feel perfectly locked in. On the other hand, people in Emilia Romagna tend to be very open and chatty, the area is beautyful with lots of things to do and you should really have no problem in making acquaintance pretty soon.
Just like Annika said, get out there! Make it an habit of going to shops for daily groveries, always the same shops, and have your breakfast or coffee at the same bar every day. In no time the shopowners will recognize you and greet you. Use whatever italian you know, and if you don't know much get yorself a self.study book while you wait for the fall to bring along the courses of Italian for foreigners. Start with a pocket dictionary to always bring along, yo cna find one in every bookshop. Also get yourself a self.study italian book like this (I picked this because Chiara is an old friend of mine, but this is no better than any other) will get you started in talking Italian. And use any word or expression you learn, to make it obvious that you want to communicate.

The important thing to do now that you've gotten over your jet lag...is get to know the city and what are the important points of interest like:Wiki

Then go to a bookstore and see if you can find a guide book of the city and the areas around it, some of them have walking tours that can be done in a lazy half day. Check out the museums.
Public transport is plentiful here and you can get out of town if you want on the weekends.

This is important because you learn the area yes, but you may meet other English speaking people who may live near you or may just be someone to chat with.

There is also an American study abroad for art students in Faenza Brockport, address on page.

For the most part, you don't have to worry about your safety in Italy as long as you stay where there are other people.

There's not much any of us can do about pining for a boyfriend far away, just try to remember why you wanted to go and BE THERE!
enjoy the and and the scenery And remember there is always someone here!

Trying to fix links. A.T.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: AliceTwain,

Whoa!!! Don't know what happened to my post, but it went looong and underlined and showed the whole addresses!!!

Cristinaaaa!!?

Tell us why you came to Italy, why you chose to leave your boyfriend for this adventure, what work are you doing, how did you end up in that town. It's not that we want to be nosy it will help you understand why you are here and in the process you may get more good suggestions.

First step is to get over the jet lag as mentioned. It can be a killer, takes me at least a week. Don't be afraid to be depressed for a while, it's a big move and it takes time to adjust. Be good to yourself, baby yourself and then after a few more days, tell yourself it's time to get on with it. Get out of the house and get it together. Make some friends, eat good food, drink good wine, enjoy the Italian sunshine.

HI you are not alone in the homesick arena. but like folks in the previous posts said, you will adjust and soon love Italy.. give it some time. get out and see things, see the reasons you came to italy in the first place..
just know that you can always come to this site and get encouragement. give your self some time. start a journal and write your feelings down. later when you are in a differnt space go back a read your posts.. you will be surprised at how differnt your feelings were "back then"
we are always here for you!

ciao MamaMia

Oh Thanks Alice!!

Homesick,
I know exactly what you're going through. I moved here by myself 3 years ago. A small town in southern Italy. It has none of the sports I used to play and none of the activities that I used to do. At work I had a private office that NO ONE ever came to me. My main coworker spoke perfectly English but he was such a jerk I couldn't spend a minute outside of work with him, even though I wanted to hang out with someone. It was tough. I had my first near death experience literally jumping out of the way of car trying to cross the street in front of my apartment. I won't lie, I've had some of the worst days of life here as far as lonliness. But I have also had some of the best. Times when people invite me over for Sunday lunch with their family. You can't experience that any other way except to live here.
Homesickness never goes away, at least for me,yet. But the opposite happens too. I find myself in the states for a week or two for work and I'm anxious to get back to Italy after I see my family and friends are all ok.
Also over here I started going to a gym. I never set foot in a gym in the states. I didn't even like the smell. I talked to one guy there and had a friend. Then it turns out a guy at the pizzeria near me goes to another gym and this was a subject and a start for a conversation. While I'm waiting for my pizza we talk and someone will jump in. It may be basic at first but it's start. Last piece of advice. Be patient. If there is anything I've learned in Italy it's that you need patience out the ____. I think that's a common thread to every post in this forum!!!!

Jeffo

Ciao Homesick in Faenza! I have a feeling that this is the same person who emailed me this past week... am I right?

My town is a 15 min train ride from Faenza, would love to show you around if you have some free time from work. What kind of hours do you keep? I was thinking you could come for dinner or maybe I could meet you in Faenza?

Homesickness is tough and living in Faenza makes it worse. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that city, but it isn't like Florence where there are tons of American wandering around.

Best wishes to you and don't let your bad expericences keep you hiding in your apartment. Be brave and get out of your home. There are tons of great cities near by to explore... Ferrara, Rimini, Ravenna, Bologna and Brisighella.

Send me an email and we can exchange phone numbers if you like.

Cyn
americanmedusa@yahoo.com

Cyndi, I am having a problem with your blog. There's some kind of music that plays brokenly and prevents my getting into comments or scrolling. I have to kill it completely to stop the problem.

To everyone who has replied,

All of your helpful hint and kind word have really helped...I'm a sap and the encouragement has brought tears to my eyes...I sincerely appreciate it.

To recap--I'm here for 6 months working for a relatitvely acquired business of a large Global Company. It's really good for my CV to be here--and it was one of those, here is the opportunity you better take it or else you may be looking for a new job kind of things...I got engaged about a month AFTER the decision had been made for me to come here. So, its all been a whirlwind.

I appreciate the advice and TRUST ME...I will be trying most EVERYTHING of what you all have said...and a American art program in Faenza---I'm not sure who posted that, but you could very well be my hero...I goodled like mad and came up with "niente" (see I'm trying...)

When it all comes down to it, there is a part of me that is saying GO. EXPLORE.DO. but after some bad experiences (not doing overly stupid stuff) in other countries I'm hesitant to venture out alone.

My Italian is well non-existant, but my Spanish is relatively good although rusty...I thought it would do me good, but it is only a source of confusion. Hopefully my "Idiots guide" to learning Italian will start helping this moron soon....

Hey--and if anyone passes through Faenza...

Thanks! Thanks!

Yes, you are right, Spanish can cause confusion when in italy. Many people think that the two langauges are closely related enough to be intercomunicant. Not true. Apart from sharing most of the grammar (a trait that is also common to Portuguese, French and all of the Romance lanaguages, but nobody ever figures that knowing French is a good place to start talking in Italian), and that some words are somewhat similar enough to be guessed, the two langauges are pretty different. Let's say as different as English is from Dutch.
Since you have been brought to Italy by a Big Corportate Global Company, why don't you check if they are willing to pay you Italian lessons? After all, if they are paying for you tobe in FAenza, they should also equip you for living in italy, and some knowledge of the langauge is an essential requirement to live in a foreign country!

To help you with the language: I have a copy of NTC's Beginner's Italian and English Dictionary which I'd be willing to send to you if you want it. I don't need it myself because I have a (better) dictionary that is Swedish-Italian and back.

On the back it says:
NTC's Beginner's Italian and English Dictionary has been specifically designed to meet the needs of beginning learners of Italian. The dictionary presents approximately 3,500 essential words with pronunciations and grammatical information in a clear, easy-to-understand format.

The following features are included to aid the user:
- An example sentence accompanies each entry to illustrate correct usage of the word.
- Subentries are included where necessary to help learners grasp shades of meaning and idiomatic expressions related to a main entry.
- Maps, illustrations, and appendices provide additional useful information.

An example of what it can look like:

osare [awZAHrr] v. - to dare
oso osi osa osiamo osate osano
Non oso mentire.
I don't dare lie.

If you are interested, send me an e-mail at annika[at]expatsinitaly[dot]com .

quote:

nobody ever figures that knowing French is a good place to start talking in Italian

I did! It was confusing in the beginning but both when it comes to some words but most importantly in grammar, it's a HUGE help!

Hi,

why don't we meet in Bologna with Cyndi (or whoever wants to come along)for a saturday afternoon of wild shopping and an evening pizza?

Ciao,
Chia

quote:

Since you have been brought to Italy by a Big Corportate Global Company, why don't you check if they are willing to pay you Italian lessons? After all, if they are paying for you to be in FAenza, they should also equip you for living in italy, and some knowledge of the langauge is an essential requirement to live in a foreign country!

So you would think...but getting books paid for was an issue....

edited to fix quote

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Annika,

I'm so in for an extravaganza in Bologna...sounds like a really fun time to me!

Girls day/night out sounds like a lot of fun! I have been wanting to meet up Chia since our GTG in Bologna fizzled out last winter.

Name a date and time, I will be there!

Cyn