Do Italians celebrate Christmas with trees, or is Epiphany the big gift-exchange day? In our travels we have tended to do as the locals do (more fun for the kids). I'm asking because we do have an artificial tree, and I'm wondering if we should bring it.
You will find Christmas trees in Italy (in fact we put up two last year). The Epiphany is the night when the children hang up stockings and wait for Befana (the good witch) to come and fill it with goodies (which also happens to be the day I got married last year ).
You bet they have Christmas trees. At midnight (in our family), after Christmas Eve supper - with all the children, 'Baby Jesus' arrives and leaves all the presents under the tree, which the children open there and then. They play 'til they drop, while grown-ups have their 'party' . Kids fall asleep and are tucked up in the first available bed. So party continues. Kiddywinks don't wake up for hours and are then taken home to continue to play while everyone else has a well deserved rest.... Don't know about elsewhere in Italy..
Naughty children are told that if they aren't good the 'Befana' will only bring them a sack of coal!
Oh Ask Dora about my 'two large christmas trees' that are growing outside my front door! She now knows the top of at least one of them intimately!
From what I see in this area, a lot of people have trees, but they decorate them and leave them outside. I bought a fake one two years ago, because we needed a tall thin one for our space, and they were impossible to find here. All of the live trees I saw were still living, and short and wide.
My inlaws go to mass Christmas eve, then when they come home, open their gifts, which is one per person. Very anti-climatic to me. I like to wake up Chrstimas morning and have a speacial holiday breakfast and open presents. We always saved our stockings for that night (it started one year when we were little because we forgot to open them in the morning) So, it gave us something to look forward to, before going to bed at night.
Here, they do gifts for the kids on Dec. 13, Santa Lucia day. And then they do the stockings on Jan. (6?) the day of Befana.
We combined traditions and celebrate both ways. We open one gift Christmas eve, and the rest in the morning. And we give gifts to the wee ones on the other days.
You should bring your tree! (if you will have somewhere to store it).
OK, so we need a Christmas tree. Are artificial trees acceptable or is this frowned upon? We grew up with live trees and found when we were traveling that often we couldn't get a live tree or that they cost nearly one month's rent We now own three artificial trees!
Artificial trees are acceptable. We always bought fresh ones as we then planted them in our garden, but lots of people have artifical ones too. Most people have a small one inside and then also decorate a tree outside as well.
We always got our main presents at Christmas and then the befana bought sweets etc.
My kids have never had Christmas in the same house, so for someone who LOVED the traditions we celebrated year after year, holidays are always the hardest for me. I know I can't replicate my own childhood celebrations for my children, but this constant moving makes me feel like a terrible mom for not giving them any roots, any traditions to anchor themselves to. Christmas Eve was THE culmination in our family growing up, for all the religious/cultural reasons.
But your tradition is to always celebrate christmas in a new place! That is pretty cool!
You could put together a scrapbook of each year, including where you were, what was happening there that year, and unique traditions you learned and implemented from living in that place. When your kids are older, they will have a very cool, unique book of all their interesting travels and christmas traditions!
Originally posted by Judith F.: ..... but this constant moving makes me feel like a terrible mom for not giving them any roots, any traditions to anchor themselves to. Christmas Eve was THE culmination in our family growing up, for all the religious/cultural reasons.
Terrible mom? WHY? People don't make the traditions, these are in your heart. And those loving 'growing up' periods in ones life, like Christmas, New year, Easter, Thanksgiving are done within the family circle. Whether that is a large or a small circle isn't important. A child will understand the love there is in the house wherever it happens to be at any given time. Stop beating yourself up for being an obviously very caring parent. And as for not giving them any roots..... well show me any plant, flower or tree that doesn't flourish when transplanted/repotted into something different. Suffice that the difference is a loved and cherished place for that plant or child to be!
The truth is, we actually do have holiday traditions, and just because they're different from what I grew up with doesn't make them less valid. I know that on an intellectual level, but emotionally, I wish they could experience traditions handed down from generation to generation. That kind of continuity is important to me, which is why I wake up nearly every day and wonder how I managed to agree to this nomadic life. But you're right, what's vital is making the holidays special in whatever circumstances we find ourselves, and that in itself will become the tradition.
Thanks for the encouragement, and I didn't mean to whine!!!!!
Ma dai! That wasn't whining! I love traditions too, that is why I made sure we incorporated mine into the new italian life. I sitll think you should do something like the scrapbook idea. That could be a precious family item to pass down!
My in-laws in Milan have pretty much the same Xmas as I had in England, the presents are all under the artificial tree & Xmas morning they are all opended before the very long lunch. I don't see the Santa Claus influence so much here but I don't know any kids, I used to leave a glass of sherry & a mince pie for santa on Xams eve - strange how my mum likes the same thing...
Posts: 331 | Location (City & State): Milan | Registered: 15 September 2005
I like the scrapbook idea very much but I'm not handy in that regard. Wherever we are we buy each child an ornament from that particular location and put the date on it. And I usually manage to make each one a "dollhouse doll" out of wool and fabric (organic, of course!). My nine-year old recently made a felt-and-wool oxen team, complete with a carved wood yoke, for her sister's birthday, and it was by far the most cherished gift, so maybe these are the the important things that they're picking up on.
I've got to get to work: I'm supposed to be homeschooling my kids but I've spent waaaaayyy too much time on this board this morning. In the meantime they have decided to explore codicology: they've sewn together paper "workbooks" for their dollhouse dolls, made cloth bookbags for them, and just now they showed me the latest paperback novel they've written. We had better get to the math and English grammar! Ciao tutti, e grazie tanto!
In Perugia it's really hard to find real trees. There are really small Charlie Brown trees, but that's all. I was really depresses to have to get a fake tree. It's not right without the smell.
And also, in regards to Carole's message above, take a look at the big ornament gracing the tree behind her house!
Hey Dora.... It's my tree, and I think the bauble(?) hanging on it is very pretty so tough - it stays!!! Come back when I get the fairy lights up and you'll look like this ->
Just be glad Jim didn't show the one of you with the flashlight and electric drill in hand when he shut you in the kitchen cupboard...... Now that folks WAS worth seeing...
I'm looking forward to playing all my old Christmas albums. So we can hear them in the background throughout the house on Christmas morning.....Johnny Mathis, Nat King Cole, Ray Conniff with all the carols and traditional songs we all still love to hear.
I've now got my fire working (got to get 'that'in - I'm still wagging my tail with happiness...), I'll see the hot embers in the fireplace (pity I can't toss the odd pine cone on for the delightful aroma they produce) and smell the mouthwatering perfume of the 'roast' cooking.
Greeting guests who will, without a doubt, be surprised by my pine wreath on the front door, and even more delight for those who have not spent Christmas lunch with me when I explain 'what you do with crackers'!!! Then there's the 'silly fun' when I TRY and translate the daft motto's they put in crackers...Translating is no problem, but the intention of the English humour and 'play on words' is such heavy going! I found an old cracker motto the other day and gave up after nearly 30 mins trying to explain it to my neice and her husband. They just didn't 'get the joke'(mind you Jim and Dora didn't get it either)! But that's all part of the atmosphere I'm so looking forward to.
Not long now....I'm just sorry that I wont have the gut wrenching happiness of seeing the joy and wonder on the faces of the little ones as their Christmas unfolds before them. That at Christmas is the 'cherry on the cake' - isn't it? To all!
Judith, have you read "Third Culture Kids"? There's a page on them/us and a link to the book on my site, http://beginningwithi.com/aboutme/tcks.html (yes, I make money if you click that link and buy! <grin>.
Third-culture kids are what you're raising, and it has its pros and cons. They'll thank you for many aspects of it, and not for others. But it sounds as if you're doing a wonderful job providing a loving, secure, rooted environment wherever home happens to be, and that's what counts in both long and short run. Your kids will be better than fine.
As for Christmas, we've always opened presents in the morning, even though my own family tradition is to do it Christmas eve. I'll break out the fake tree the weekend of the Immacolata. I already put up some lights a few weeks ago because I was so depressed when we did the "fall back" and now it seems so dark all the time. I grew up in the tropics - long winter nights are hard for me to adjust to.
Our family Christmas this year will be just the three of us (a big change from last year's first time ever assembly of both sides of the family!), but I've got a party in London the week before with many old school friends, and the day after take off for the US to see other friends, so my Christmas season will simply be very long and globally spread!
So, Judith, sounds as if you guys have made up your minds. When do you arrive?
Expats in Italy Forum 
In our travels we have tended to do as the locals do (more fun for the kids). I'm asking because we do have an artificial tree, and I'm wondering if we should bring it.
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Ask Dora about my 'two large christmas trees' that are growing outside my front door! She now knows the top of at least one of them intimately! 
We now own three artificial trees!
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You're beautiful, Dora....don't kill him...please.... 
hanging on it is very pretty so tough - it stays!!! Come back when I get the fairy lights up and you'll look like this -> 
