Ok, let’s start a limerick thread. I go first


A lady from Blighty was beat
“Oh Italy where life is so sweet....”
She moved there to find
‘twas all in her mind
Yet never called it a defeat.

Unanswered threads are very sad. I found the following on another site -- which made me wonder: what would a limerick sound like in Italian?

I could write an XML limerick in Italian,
Maybe then I'd look like a real stallion,
A "moltissimo" here,
A "bravissimo" there,
Oops!!! There's the boss - gotta stop dilly dallyin'!!!!

On her t*ts, a barmaid named Gayle,
Wrote the prices for beer, stout, and ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was precisely the same, but in Braille.

CHE QUALC'UNO NEL CAMINO,

UN UOMO CALVO E PICCOLINO

CON UN SACCO DI NATALE,

NON STA SCENDENDO, INVECE SALE!

STA RUBANDO TUTTI I DONI...

PORCA VA*CA E BERLUSCONI!

But maybe that's why it has gone unanswered! I reckon these are amongst the cleanest I have ever heard!

Nice! Jagshemash!
I thought this thead was gone for good but you revived it and you made my day!

There once was a man from Nantucket

please finish

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who needed to go buy a bucket
One made of steel
Had lots of appeal
Especially when bought out in Phuket

Da, da!! ))!

Does this sound correct in English?


There once was a man from Nantucket
With never a dime in his pocket
To the Oxfam lad
Who helped him, he said
“A job nine to five? Me? You fock it!”

The rhymes are a little shaky, but what the heck- it's poetic license.

quote:

Originally posted by Bill 2:
On her t*ts, a barmaid named Gayle,
Wrote the prices for beer, stout, and ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was precisely the same, but in Braille.

ho ho ho...like that one

I agree with Alyson, most of the British limericks I know are quite saucy indeed..

This one's not too bad though..

A boy stood on the burning deck
and started playing cricket
The ball rolled up his trouser leg
and stumped his middle wicket.

Here's some more I thought were quite amusing.....

There was a young lady from Thrace,
Whose corsets grew too tight to lace.
Her mother said, "Nelly,
There's more in your belly,
Than ever went in through your face!"



There was a young lady named Banker
Who slept while the ship lay at anchor;
She awoke in dismay
When she heard the mate say,
"Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker!"


An old fellow dining at Crewe
Found a very large bug in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too.


There was a young woman of Leeds
Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a month, silly lass,
She was covered with grass,
And she couldn't sit down for the weeds.


....ok, I should stop now....

Is this your secret profession?!

JAPrufrock - said, is, unfortunately pronounced sed, must try harder!

quote:

Originally posted by alyson:
JAPrufrock - said, is, unfortunately pronounced sed, must try harder!

Ok. Then something with “bloke” and “spoke” should be better.
Or I might just sit back and not claim I can write poetry in a foreign language.

The one about the bug in the stew is spot on.

Well I'm not even going to try in a foreign language so you are ahead of me!!

A media tycoon from Milan....

Went sailing out in Taiwan....

A media tycoon from Milan
With hair from a carpet maker in Iran

quote:

Originally posted by Graeme:
A media tycoon from Milan
With hair from a carpet maker in Iran

What a slander of Iranian artisans!
How about hair from a paint works near Ludwigshafen? (doesn't rhyme well and the metre's jacked up, I know).

A media tycoon from Milan
Whose hair was good for a yarn
Changed the law at a whim
To suit only him
"Corrupt? Who gives a darn!"

Bravo!

Graeme,
the concept is spot on , but, er, do Milan and yarn rhyme? Just asking.

Don't know about Australia, but in Massachusetts Milan rhymes with yarn.

If you're well brung up in Australia, Milan rhymes with yarn. Close to the Italian, obviously without the "o".

Same as, if you're well brung up in Australia, it's darnce, not dance and prarnce, not prance.

In my cluelessness I thought Milan rhymed with fan.
I also thought people were "brought up" somewhere, rather than "brung up".
But once again, I was brung up in Italy and it looks like I still have a lot of work to do on my English.