So again we have had to close a topic because instead of sticking to the subject, people still need to have the last word. I understand joking around and I appreciate the fact that some wanted to lighten up the subject (I really do appreciate it as I understand completely) but the fact is, I can't say no more posting off topic or I will delete and then only delete the posts that irk me. I would have left the funnies but that would not have been fair. I do try to be fair.

If I say stop it means stop. I get the last word (sorry folks but if you would rather be the one to get the last word then make me an offer for the site and the forum and I will sell it to you and you can then be the one with the headache!)

If you have a question that you broached in a thread that is off topic and I edit it out or delete it, do not repost the same question in said thread but open up a new one. I am more than happy to answer the question but not in the other thread.

And last but not least, check your private messages! Even if you are not a premium member you can still see private messages. Most of the time you will find the answer to your question right there in beige and grey explaining what I meant or why I did what I did and even though you may not be able to respond to the PM directly you can always send me an email (which can be found on every page of the site and the forum) in response.

I guess I am confused here. Was this thread closed because of content or because it started going off target. I also guess iIwill after review the rules again because I am not understanding what off target means in this particular thread. Sorry for my ignorance on this matter.

PS I just went to review the rules but I can't seem to be able to find them...talk about being computer challenged:-)I could use help here....

The rules can be found here: http://expattalk.com/rules

JoanSi, it was closed because after I wrote that it needed to get back on topic, off topic posts were made again (and I did say earlier in the thread that I would delete if people kept going on about the off topic subject), warning was given a second time but some do not respect the warnings so because of this we all suffer because the topic is closed. I may reopen it though but with all of the non on topic posts removed.

Going a bit off topic is fine but steering away completely from the original topic is not okay.

To the Moderators: I agree and I am glad you posted this reminder of the rules and of general etiquette- some of us- me included of course (!) tend to want to defend ourselves and also cannot resist responding to certain outrages. I suppose that is your responsibility as moderators and not ours, and in fact I will open a membership this week also to post private messages, which in any case in the more appropriate way of responding directly to one person off the topic (even if it was not a rule per se)

Thank you Annika for the link. And thank you Cristina for clarifying for me. So (to make sure I am really getting this) in this instance going off target was when various people commented on what the various writers were saying rather then sticking to "politeness"?

quote:

Originally posted by JoanSi:
Thank you Annika for the link. And thank you Cristina for clarifying for me. So (to make sure I am really getting this) in this instance going off target was when various people commented on what the various writers were saying rather then sticking to "politeness"?

Yes, exactly. It is only natural for discussions to drift from the original topic, but (IMO!) there should still be a certain level of discussion left, not only personal bickering and pie throwing contests. That can be fun too to some extent and I think you all know that we allow and encourage humour and .... how should I put this... life-like chatting --- I mean, it doesn't all have to be dry, serious and boring. Part of what makes [used to make] this board so great was that the personalities of its members were allowed to shine through, which gave it a very personal, family-like feeling. That is good!
When the discussions steer completely off topic and turn into childish competition about who gets the last word in, it's no fun anymore.

I don't know if I'm making any sense. It is very difficult to know where to draw the line as it's so very subjective - I may not interpret a comment the same way you do, etc.

Umm... yeah. So.. pretty much what you said, only that you said it better than I did and in fewer words as well.

thanks Annika...i think "she's got it" by george she has:-)

quote:

By Annika:"....Yes, exactly. It is only natural for discussions to drift from the original topic, but (IMO!) there should still be a certain level of discussion left, not only personal bickering and pie throwing contests. That can be fun too to some extent and I think you all know that we allow and encourage humour and .... how should I put this... life-like chatting huh? --- I mean, it doesn't all have to be dry, serious and boring. Part of what makes [used to make] this board so great was that the personalities of its members were allowed to shine through, which gave it a very personal, family-like feeling. That is good!
When the discussions steer completely off topic and turn into childish competition about who gets the last word in, it's no fun anymore."

Yes, you're quite right - that cameraderie does seem to have gone... There is a distinct difference between the odd custard pie thrown in jest, or maybe even the threat(?) of 'handbags at dawn' , and what has almost become a habit where 'someone' - that we often know little or nothing about - just turns up in the middle of a thread (or will even start a line of new ones), chucks a time bomb into the middle of the debate and then just stands back to watch the outcome.

Look at recently closed threads - or maybe ALL closed threads (though they are so few and far between here on Expats, it's hard to remember them) - and I will wager that the scenario is almost identical each time. Why do they do it? Well my theory is that 'they' are a group who plan an attack - carry it out - watch the fall out (with their friends watching 'on line' as 'visitors') and then they go back under thier bridge (trolls live under bridges don't they?) and laugh themselves silly at how we all reacted.

FWIW - that's my theory, and every time a thread is closed I promise myself that I won't fall into the 'reaction trap' next time...but I nearly always do! Sorry Cristina

Just curious about the rules on closed topics - I'm not new to the forum but haven't visited very often due to lack of internet. Now that I finally have it I intend to become more involved. I read the thread on "Politeness" with great interest, and apart from a few sidebars the topic came back to its original intention. I was really looking forward to adding my own comments on the subject, but decided to read right through first, then the thread is closed.

Now, I know very well why it was closed, but I'd like to know the rules on re-opening the thread. I mean, is it not tolerated to simply start a new discussion entitled "Politeness"? I don't want to break any rules here. If we're not allowed to add our comments/opinions on the title of the post because somebody else went off-track or over the line, it doesn't seem very fair.

quote:

I am glad you posted this reminder of the rules and of general etiquette- some of us- me included of course (!) tend to want to defend ourselves and also cannot resist responding to certain outrages

Can I suggest here that if a topic steers off course and you want to respond to an outrage, you do so in a private message to the offender, leaving the thread to people who want to remain on-topic?

quote:

Can I suggest here that if a topic steers off course and you want to respond to an outrage, you do so in a private message to the offender, leaving the thread to people who want to remain on-topic?

I am almost positive that "offenders" are sent an email. Private messages only work for Premium Members.

I don't think that there is anything stopping you from opening a new thread and putting in a link to what you want to reference.

I think you misunderstood. I meant by "offenders" those people who literally offend another person in a personal attack that has no place in the thread. Naturally you would want to reply to being offended like that, but rather than do it in the thread and continue to steer the topic away from what is was supposed to be, why not send a message to your attacker?

I didn't realise that only premium members could send and receive personal messages. What about this for a suggestion - a new forum, maybe called "boxing ring" - where people can go to have it out with each other, fight it out, shake hands kiss and make up or whatever? You know, say "Right, let's take this to the boxing ring!". This could solve a lot of problems with threads going off-course and lead to fewer thread closures.

Btw, how do I become a premium member?

Which thread was closed?

Politeness.

quote:

Btw, how do I become a premium member?

Just click on the link in the upper right hand corner of this page a.d provide the info asked for.

Hello Gil,

I recently applied for premium membership and was approved with credit card. Do I hear anything from the site about contacting members privately, etc.?

Thanks,
Viva

Ho Viva,

Thanks for joining and thereby helping to keep this site going to help people with questions.

I just try to moderate what goes on here and have no administrative functions. The only thing that I noticed when I paid was a 'star' similar to the one that is now after your name. I can't remember anything else except that there is maybe a notification when it is time to renew. My renewal is in the Spring and I had a lot of things going ten and don't remember.

I hope this helps,
Gil

Viva, have you had an email receipt for the transaction from Groupee Site Payment Service? That's the only notification you'll get.

To check whether, for example, you can now send and receive private messages, click on the "Go" box on the LHS immediately above the post section on this page. Then click on "Personal Zone". "Private Messaging" should be in the drop-down menu that appears just to the right. Click on "Private Messaging" and it should take you to a Private Message window if the option has been enabled.