Suggestions please: My 5 year old grandson moved with his family to Milan last Feb. He has been in an American preschool there. He is very unhappy as due to his inability to speak Italian he is left out & shunned. He is back in the states now and refusing to go back to Italy. Of course that is not an option for him. Do you know of any home Italian courses that are successful in teaching children Italian? Grazi

He really should be picking up Italian in a few weeks. My Mother along with her sisters and cousins all learned English in the first week or so of school. Before they hit US schools they only spoke Sicilian.

Some friends of ours had this problem with their daughter in asilo. It took several weeks but eventually she got into the mix and soon was happy and teaching Mom and Dad the Italian she'd learned that day.

Have the boy's parents talked with the teachers at the preschool? If they are told about the problem, they may be able to integrate him into activities better.

American preschool, aren't there also kids who speak English. After 5 months, since Feb, he should have been able to make some friends and identify with other kids who speak English and he should have learned a lot of Italian by now. So maybe there are other issues, seems like the parents need to get more involved and work with the school.

Our now 5 1/2 year old who did speak Italian but mostly English took a couple of months to switch over to Italian two years ago in an all Italian preschool. Now he will start 1st grade in September and all he wants to do is stay home, does not want to go to camp, swimming lessons, etc. So maybe it's an age thing, a phase, or in his case fear of changes, the big school, etc. Your grandson may just be making excuses so he can stay with grandparents, when my wife's parents are in their apartment in the building we live in we never see our kids unless we make them come home.

As others stated, he should be able to learn italian pretty fast. My suggestion is for the parents to move the child out of his current school and into a new one, preferably an Italian one. In most Italian public schools, children are at least 20% foreingers, so he will not be the only one with just a modest knowledge of Italian: the other chldren are usually more used to having amongst them children that can't speak Italian and being in a fully non-English environment would, at the same time, force him to learn the new langauge. Also, invest what you save from the cheaper school in hiring a part-time tutor that speaks English and Italian and who is able to help the child with learning Italian and getting more fluent with it.

Thank you for your responses! Gil,for whatever reason, he is not picking up enough Italian to get by & he was in school there from the end of Feb. through June. English is spoken in the classroom but when the children go to the playground, or there is a birthday party, etc, he doesn't have enough Italian language skills to participate. Bill, the teachers were contacted & they were helpful, gracious, & assisted him as best they could. Jhelm, the parents & school are working together well. Our grandson looked forward to going to school so the parents didn't realize the enormity of the problem until getting ready to return to Italy from the states, he keeps saying he's not going. Alice T., moving him out of the American school isn't an option as they will return to the states for good in a year or less & they feel he needs to stay on that tract. Finding a children's tutor would be wonderful but how do you find one for children. My question remains: "Do you know of any home Italian courses that are successful in teaching children Italian?" Grazie!!

Some thoughts, if the family is leaving Italy in less than a year maybe it's better to forget about him learning Italian. At 5 he's not going to learn much from lessons outside of school and if he returns to an all English environment he will forget it anyway. Kids learn by being emersed in the language. His situation is English at home, English in school, then some kids speaking Italian on the playground. It seems odd that there are not other's in his same situation at the school.

Maybe his parents can focus on helping him make a couple of English speaking friends by setting up some play dates or other activities that will bring him closer to 2 or 3 kids in his school. 5 year olds will always fall for a trip to McDonalds, ice cream after school, a trip to the park, etc. any excuse to help him make a couple of good friends.

Maybe change his schedule so he can spend more time at home with Mom, he might be protesting just because he dosen't like being sent off everyday when he would prefer to be home.

To answer your original question look for the BBC Muzzy language tapes/CD's and DVD's. I haven't used them but I have heard good things about them and they win a lot of awards. You can get them off Amazon.

If a return to the US is upcoming, why not letting the child live there with his grandparents for a few months?

I am not an expert, but maybe what he is experiencing is due to the actual move to Italy...he is only 5 years old and his whole life has changed. Everything for him is different. He has probably been frightened by all of the change, and add to this not being able to understand the language...he may feel afraid and isolated, just like WE do when moving to a new country. (This type of thing is stressful for adults!) Try to imagine doing this at 5...being safe with his parents is probably the most important thing for him right now. IMO, there is a sense of strength that comes from a family united, but at the same time, we cannot allow our children to hide out from change. There is alot of that for him in the future.
IMHO, how parents respond in this situation can affect how the child responds. Kids are so wise...they pick up on every verbal and non-verbal clue - they know when you are talking about their difficulties to everyone! Please don't be offended by what I'm saying - he's your baby and when he hurts, you hurt, I get this. IMO, this can be an opportunity of learning for your son though, as awful as it may appear to be for him. (I have gone through this with my son, as we have moved every 2 years since 1993; three moves have been to foreign countries.) IMO, you have to try NOT to show him that you are worried about him, but that you look forward to the challenge and excitement of living in Italy as a wonderful adventure (even if you are dying inside). The whole family has to present this attitude even if you question it yourself. And while you do this, since you aren't staying in Milan for much longer, you could cut back on the amount of time he spends in the preschool. IMO, keeping everyone in the family together right now is important...perhaps if you decrease the time he spends in preschool, and more time with his family, (but don't exclude his exposure to the school and Italian children totally), he might feel a little less intimidated. This is a difficult time for you as a mother, but believe me, although he is only 5, your son is learning several lessons from this experience. Good luck, hug and kiss him LOTS because he probably needs it.

I'm sorry, this is your grandchild, not your baby...doesn't alter my thoughts, though.

Wow, how kind that so many of you have expressed your concerns & ideas for making my precious grandson's life happier. Alyson, I will order the Muzzy learning series for him. I just needed to know of one that focuses on children. Lisann, you are right on with your comments. Alice T., we'd take our grandsons in a minute if warranted, but it isn't. There is just a bump in the road that they are addressing. I emailed his Dad, who is still working in the Milan area, about his reluctant child. He said that this coming year in school he will receive an hour of Italian language 4 days a week at his school. He's also going to find a private tutor to work with the family. I believe it will be a huge help. His Mom's college degrees focus on children with "problems". She's been encouraging him along & now he says he "probably" will go back to Milan. That is a good thing! She is a people person herself & all along has arranged play days & meeting children at the park. They orginally were only sending him to school 3 days a week, so she could enjoy him & his 3 year old brother more, but that was part of the problem. He wasn't a "regular" at school & not part of the "group". Once they identified that problem, he joyfully went each day & things were better. His reluctance has just been a huge surprise to everyone. With language tapes, language tutor, & a family that truly adores, yet lovingly disciplines their children, he'll be happier soon.
Again, thank you for all the thought filled suggestions!
Ciao

Sounds like it will work itself out. I was just thinking that I wouldn't be surprised to hear my 5 year say he wanted to stay with his grand parents after spending several weeks with them. He gets much more attention than we parents have time to give.