Interesting article- relevant to someone like me with a partner who is very involved in my son's life, and with my son whose father is not involved at all! Kind of sad, really, and negatively impacts kids the most in my opinion. I hope Italy adopts France's more progressive approach.

http://it.notizie.yahoo.com/adnkxml/20080414/twl-franci...una-leg-09e26cd.html

so what happens in situations like this, does the biological parent have to give legal responsibilty to the ex partners new partner in order to do these things?
And one would assume then that the biological partner who still has all thes rights is also financially responsible to for the up bringing of their child??
Quite a mine field I should imagine.

I really know very little about Family Law in Italy- just bits and pieces like this article. My personal situation: my son's dad lives in Sicily, he send a bit of money every so often but nothing substantial, he actually stopped calling, and in the past 4 1/2 years when he does see our son it is more harm than good. This is sad, but life goes on! I don't consider my current partner to be replacing my son's dad, but they have a strong bond and a very healthy relationship. Fortunately my son is almost 10 and I have never had a problem taking care of him myself, but WHAT IF I needed my partner to ask my son's teacher a question? I know my son's dad would NEVER give any legal permission to my partner, but it seems to be the Italian system will have to catch up to reality of modern day families. Not sure if a parent CAN give permission though, that is an interesting question. I think the question to ask is, who is a law protecting? An absent parent or the child? What about a non-absent parent of a child who happens to have step parent(s)? If anyone knows more I'd be interested in hearing.

This is heading into an interesting area all round, because the "traditional family" is giving way to all sorts of unions, and the legal process has to catch up or find itself flouted by default.

More urgent than your questions about education, Jenna, is the health situation, and to what extent could your partner make life-or-death decisions on behalf of your son in the event you were incapacitated? Or even get information relating to the two of you in the event of an accident?

This rather dire scenario is what, to me, is underlying the gay marriage issue, and the fact that anyone who is not a first-degree relative has no power to make decisions concerning the health of a partner--they can't even access information concerning the condition of their partner!

In the case of divorce, the issue is even stickier, especially, as farfalla points out, in the case wherein the estranged spouse is still providing financial support to children.

It's an issue that will (soon I hope) find itself in front of the Court of Human Rights in The Hague, because it really needs to be clear, since, as the article states, many families are no longer the same legal composition of yore, and these problems will just get worse and worse.

How different is the situation in other countries? Family compositons may be changing but a mother or father giving permission to the live in boyfriend or girlfriend or new spouse to make important decisions about a child seems at the least a very complicated issue. I find one of my daughters in this situation. She is remarried has a new baby and a daughter from a previous marriage. I find her current husband to be a very reliable and good person. The ex is a flake living on another continent who provides no support what so ever. Who would I trust to make decisons about my grandaughter certainly not the ex. But then what if the situation was somewhat reversed. That is the mom is the flake but has the child living with her and is married to or living with some jerk.

I agree that line drawing is difficult, but it looks like the Italian law makes no exceptions for a 3rd parent. In cases like mine and your daughter's a reasonable solution would be to allow the 3rd parent some rights as far as talking with a teacher, taking the child to a doctor's appointment if the parent has to work- maybe not making medical decisions per se- but it just seems like living in the world of, "we'd like all parents to be married and the family unit to stay intact, and if not your life will be more difficult" seems punitive on innocent children. Its not just the 3rd parent issue here, unmarried couples that have children together also have less rights- like I don't think they qualify for the baby bonus (I THINK, maybe I am wrong). What is the sense in that? Again, imposing one family model when the world is rapidly changing harms kids more than anyone else.
Filomena: Interesting concern about medical decisions or my partner even finding out about us in the case of an accident, EXACTLY the conversation when he was here a couple of weeks ago. A real concern for me, and you know what, I have NO idea what to do. I am a quite concerned to be honest. Here in the U.S. you can delegate medical decision-making power through legal documents to someone completely unrelated to you. This may be contested by legal family members, but you can do it. In Italy, no such delegation is even possible (according to my partner, at least).

Sound like you need the advice of a good family lawyer in Italy if there are any out there willing to comment on the forum.
Obviously in dire emergencies-and one would hope this never arises if your sons biological partner was not contactable the courts would make decision, as in the UK courts can overrule parental choice if their decision is lifethreatening for the child i.e refusing of lifesaving treatment.