Hi, we're just starting to research "how to" bring children up bi-lingually. Our first child is due at the end of September. My partner is Italian and speaks English almost fluently, while English is my mother-tongue and I speak enough Italian to get by.

Can anyone recommend sources of information about raising children bi-lingually (eg online resources or any books that you've found particularly useful)?

I'd also really like to hear about your personal experiences.

Vicky

Hi - we are doing the same. It is pretty easy actually, my OH speaks in Italian and I speak in English - so far no problems My son very rarely mixes the languages and if he does he usually realises e.g.
"Babbo, ho taste-ato la pasta....oops volevo dire assaggiato" He is 3 1/2 but I think his language skills are pretty good and he definitely doesn't lag behind monolinguals. But then I'm his mum
I haven't bought any books on bilingualism (although I work in linguistics so come across quite a few articles) but one website that I have found useful is www.babycentre.co.uk/community - scroll down to "multlingual families" - the posters are very friendly and generally give good, practical advice. There is also a site:
www.bilingualbabies.org which you might find useful.
Hope that helps!

There are several theories about raising children bilingually, and the one my son and his wife chose is the "one parent, one language" way. Since their birth, my son has spoken ONLY Spanish to his daughters, while his wife speaks only English.

At ages 4 and 6 both girls are fluent in Spanish and ready to take on a third language! Altho my son is a native English speaker, his love of languages began when he was in the 8th grade.

I think the key with this approach is to be vigilent...at one point one of the girls said to my son "Daddy, you don't speak English!" even tho he speak English to his wife, and to most other people around him. I guess it proves that her brain really does process both languages simultaneously. Anyway, if you choose this method, make sure each parent speaks ONLY their native language to the child.

Another "success" story: One of my daughters and her husband (German) used the "one-parent, one-language" approach for their three boys growing up in the U.S. They are now 11, 8 and 5. The boys also attended German school once a week in Boston for several years. The older boys understood virtually everything in German from an early age, but rarely spoke German.


The family recently moved to Germany and the two older boys attend an International School in Munich. They began speaking German immediately with new friends in their neighborhood, and they excel in German in school.

Interestingly, the middle boy, who seemed to speak less than his older brother and be less interested in the language in the U.S. (at the Boston German school, at home when prompted, etc.) began speaking German immediately without any American accent, whereas his older brother speaks German equally well, but with a slight American accent (according to my daughter and son-in-law).

My daughter is fluent in German and French, but she make a point of not speaking German too much to the boys because she didn't want to pass on her accent, which I guess is pretty strong.

It has been fascinating to watch this process over the years.

Hi,

My daughter is seven now. She understands english perfectly but is just one of those children who has always tended to shy away from speaking english. I let her go on responding in Italian until this summer because I didn't want to insist too early and end up with her just refusing the language altogether.

After school ended in June, I told her that she is now old enough to speak only in english with mommy. I dug my heels in and six weeks later she's flying (happily). At first, it was like starting up an old car that's been in the garage for a couple of years.

Over the years, MANY parent have looked down on me because I waited instead of "pushing" english. I have always done what I felt was right based on my daughter's own little personality.

Anyhow, children are really amazing and each very different from the other.

I'm proud of my little munchkin!

Thank you so much to all of you for your comments and for sharing your experiences.

I have heard a lot about the "one-parent, one-language" approach - from the conversations I've had with other people it seems to be the most commonly used.

My only "question" about it is if it is suitable to our situation - Massimo works very anti-social hours in the summer season (7-9 months a year). I want to be sure that our child has sufficient exposure to both English and Italian. It may be that exposure to Italian will come through other people, and it will be enough.

C in Bo - thanks for the websites you've suggested. By nature I like to have a lot of information, so I'll keep researching.

Marilaura - great advice re: tailoring education to each child

Thanks again to you all and if anyone has anything more to add - I'd love to hear about it.

Personal experience:
a different parent for each language might be less confusing at first (infancy) but after a couple of years (kindergarden age?) the kid will realize what a language is and be consistent, either say "mi piace il gelato" or "i like ice cream" but not "mi like the gelato"
Also if one parent speaks a language poorly or with an accent andthat is the kid's ONLY exposure to the language, he'll pick that up, but if he speaks the language correctly with other people (say, at school) then speaking with a parent who has an accent or speaks it poorly won't impede his learning to speak it correctly (but he might end up on occasion trying to mock the parent's accent/poor grammar, but that's how kids are !!!)

You know what I was thinking?

A lot of people say that each parent should only use their madrelingua otherwise the child will grow up with an accent when speaking either one or both of the languages, but I was pondering this and when I think of all my friends who have parents (or grandparents) who speak with an accent in any language, none of their children have grown up with accented speech.

Just yesterday I saw this while I was working: a family came in and the mom and dad both had heavy accents (she was Czech, he was Israeli) and their childrens' English was fine.

I guess its because the kids were born and raised in America so they're surrounded by unaccented English?

Anyway, this was just a long post to bring up something I was wondering!

We're an all English speaking family living in Italy. My 4 year old started Materna last September. She now speaks fluent Italian, this comes from my Italian friends and her school - I would not be able to judge. Her English is as good as ever, as we only speak English at home. I suppose I'm saying don't sweat it - go with what works for you and if your child eventually goes to an Italian school anyway that will iron out that language completely while you concentrate on English at home if this is important.

Many English-speaking friends here with Italian
partners have actually insisted on only English at home from both parents. Interestingly these children are among the best bi-lingual children I know. They switch easily from language to language, their exposure to Italian being from other friends and relatives, tv and their environment outside the home. The families where one partner speaks Italian, the other English have had less success with the English, as the enviromental influence has been too strong. This is just my experience here.

I know an Argentine/American couple living in Seattle who for their children have always had only Spanish inside the house, while only English outside the house. Seems to work really well.

My kids bilingual, now if I could just get my Italian wife to speak only English to the kids and only Italian to me we would have the best situation. The fact that she usually only speaks english to me has not been good for my becoming bilingual. And I can see the point where it might be more important if more english was spoken in the house. My 6 year old speaks english to me but does struggle a bit mostly with vocabulary. It's a struggle, I need to become more fluent but I'm the native english speaker so I should speak english only to them.

I think the One Parent One Language system works really well in families where each parent speaks to the child in a language that is NOT the local language.

On the other hand, my experience with the One Parent One Language system where one parent also happens to speak the local language (for example, family lives in Italy, Mommy speaks to child in English, papa in Italian) is that the child often ends up refusing to speak the minority language at all, although he or she may be passively bilingual (i.e. have perfect comprehension). This is almost inevitably the case where the minority language parent also happens to work full time and the child is in local language day care or school. If the minority language parent is at home with the child, there doesn't seem to be a problem.

I have seen the "English only at home" system work really well where both parents speak excellent English and refuse to let the local language (Italian) slip in.

All these great ideas go kaboom the minute the kids go to school of any kind, nursery, first grade, whatever. Unless the child has a firm grasp of the "other" language, they will do whatever their peers are doing, and if that means dropping another language because the other kids at school either don't speak it themselves or can't understand a word and reject it out of hand, that's what will happen.

If the second language is a useful one (like one of the EU) or seriously exotic (like Mandarin Chinese) the peers will show an interest around middle school, when they have to actually learn it, not before.

But insist, because eventually they'll benefit. It just looks like a hopeless cause for about 10 years, but you can do it!

I speak English, DH speaks Italian but to eachother we speak English. This is what all of the studies said to do 10 yearas ago, each in their mother tongue and the foreign language if possible in conversations between the adults. My children are a little behind in Italian but are doing great in English.

quote:

Originally posted by filomena:
All these great ideas go kaboom the minute the kids go to school of any kind, nursery, first grade, whatever. Unless the child has a firm grasp of the "other" language, they will do whatever their peers are doing, and if that means dropping another language because the other kids at school either don't speak it themselves or can't understand a word and reject it out of hand, that's what will happen.

That's why I think that the "Exclusively English at home" system (with both parents speaking English only) tends to work better than the One Parent One Language System in the context where one parent speaks Italian.

Oh dear. My other half speaks very limited English. Does that mean I have to teach him English before thinking about having kids? Better get my skates on!

quote:

Originally posted by Kat:
Oh dear. My other half speaks very limited English. Does that mean I have to teach him English before thinking about having kids? Better get my skates on!

Another tactic you can adopt is to make a habit of speaking exclusively English to your spouse when your child is present (assuming your spouse understands English well enough, even if he does not speak it so well).

Speaking English to your spouse whenever the child is present increases your child's exposure to English and reinforces the association your child draws between you and the English language. Your spouse would of course continue to speak to you and the child in Italian.

quote:

Does that mean I have to teach him English before thinking about having kids?

So funny! Good point... just do what comes naturally (no pun intended) and I can tell you from experience we had no official system and my son is learning Italian beautifully and of course speaks English as his official first language. I have decided to personally only speak English with him since we now live in Italy, but kids are flexible and learn like sponges, so I am sure whatever langauge or combination of langauges you speak at home will lead to the same result!

quote:

kids are flexible and learn like sponges

How true!

My husband and I are both native speakers of English so of course we thought it would be cool to have our daughter proficient in both, since she was going to an Italian school.

Yeah, right! Out and about we looked ridiculous, because she always spoke to us in Italian. We finally gave up and spoke Italian too. My daughter learned French while in France and ended up going to a UK university: her majors were French and Italian--done in English!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by jenna:
just do what comes naturally (no pun intended) QUOTE]

This is to share our experiences with our 7 year old daughter with German. Also, this is an apeal to anyone out there that knows any Germans with chidren living in Milan, Italy, we would like to make contact.

Our daughter picked up German while we lived in Dresden for a year. Neither of of us speaks German. So the challenge was to constantly expose her to German whereever and whenever we could when we moved back Houston, Texas. Amazone.de was a good resource for DVDs and books (my pronuciation is atrocious). We found a dual immersion school 6 blocks(!) from our house in Houston that specialized in German. Also, we found a Lutheran church that offered German Saturday school. She managed to keep this up for another year and a half.

Now we're in Italy and the thought of her learning another language has us excited! But it may come at a price. The German/Italian school is full. The Swiss/Italian school is full.

We will most likely hire a tutor to help her. But we think the best way for her to maintain the German is to have other children to interact with. Thus, the apeal to the readers!

Also, if anyone knows of any other resources we could take advantage if, we would certainly appreciate it.

Sincerely
johnnygneric

quote:

On the other hand, my experience with the One Parent One Language system where one parent also happens to speak the local language (for example, family lives in Italy, Mommy speaks to child in English, papa in Italian) is that the child often ends up refusing to speak the minority language at all, although he or she may be passively bilingual (i.e. have perfect comprehension). This is almost inevitably the case where the minority language parent also happens to work full time and the child is in local language day care or school. If the minority language parent is at home with the child, there doesn't seem to be a problem.

I was just wondering - for those who have found the above to be true - at what age does this rejection usually happen? I work and my son goes to scuola materna but at the moment he seems very happy to speak English to me and Italian to DH - long may it last! DH and I speak Italian together in Italy and English together in the UK (approx one month a year).

My oldest had this sort of rejection around 3rd or 4th grade, I insisted but he really would get ticked and refuse to speak any english at all with me he claimed it was embarassing, he came out of it at the end of 7th grade when he got interested in foreign girls(during the summer we go to a campground that has more dutch and germans than italians!) He watches all the shows he can in original language and sort of switches back and forth very naturally(he will be 17 in oct.) My husband speaks virtually no english so I adapted my own system of speaking english with the kids and italian with my husband, I have 3 kids and at dinner time I usually say things in english that I was supposed to say in italian and vice versa. Everyone is used to it by now. My daughter has no complaints for now since she is only 5 and a half and my toddler seems to like certain words better in italian than english but its pretty normal I have found. Word of advice, be patient!