Does anyone have any experience with giving birth/raising newborn in Italy?

We will be moving to florence in June, and might be pregnant (waiting for results). He will be finishing school over the next 3 years, and I want to continue with our move and just have the baby there. I'm the kind of person who likes to make things work. I think my hubby is very concerned, as he should be, about the financial obligation of having a child. However, I feel like it would actually be easier as far as health care goes compared to NY. I aslo plan to breast feed, use cloth diapers, and make my own food (we are very strict whole/natural/organic) and I know this will save a lot of money. Our family will without a doubt supply us with all of the equipment and furniture we need. Looking at this I feel like it could easily be done, even if we are both only working part-time.

As I have never been a mother, what am I not considering? What are your thoughts? Terminating the pregnancy (if there is one) is NOT an option.

CONGRATS!

I have had two children here and can only say wonderful things about it. Since you are going to Florence I would highly recommend the best hospital in all of Italy for childbirth which is the hospital in POggibonsi, 25 km. outside of Florence. I had both of my children there and it really was a wonderful experience.

What you will need to do is as quickly as possible, get on the national health system. Once you haev done this, you will make an appointment for the first visit and they will give you the list of tests to cover you. You may have to get another type of insurance just for pregnancy in case the state causes propblems but you can ask that at the questura when you get your permesso di soggiorno.

Breastfeeding is not frowned upon but if you ever need any help with it, I help others as well as I have a few friends who work with La Leche League in Florence.

Ask any questions you may have as there are a few of us who have done it here and would thrilled to help out.

One thing though, they are not really big on prenatal vitamins but do recommend folic acid. I got prenatals from the states to cover both pregnancies. Also, I really had a problem with heartburn so my sister sent me two huge Costco bottles of Tumms which is also recommended in the states for pregnant moms due to the extra calcium.

Reading with high interest from the sideline.

I really like your decision of choosing to a) raise a child outside the States and b) breastfeed, use cloth diapers and watch oh-so-carefully what you put in that precious baby's mouth.

You say you don't know if your pregnant yet...if it turns out so - or for a time down the road, then CONGRATS!

Hi LoPorto,
Congratulations (if it's positive!).
I'm pretty much in the situation you'll be in and it's working out great for us (but we do have the boyfs family round the corner). However I do use cloth nappies, breastfeed and make all Lila's food and yes that does keep costs down. Thinking about it we actually spend very little on her, most of her clothes have been gifted & ditto with the furniture and baby equipment.
My mum tells me that babies bring everything they need with them and now I kinda know what she means, Lila doesn't go without and we both only work part time.

Italy is a great place to bring up a baby, everyone here is very baby friendly. People always stop in the street to talk and you can have a pretty good social life taking the baby with you out to eat and even to bars if you are happy to do that. It's also much safer here than London, where I lived before, but I guess that depends on where you live now and where you plan to live here.

Well that's the upside - any downside?
Well giving birth in Italy might be different than in NY, it depends where you are and what you want. It was a nightmare for me but I've heard lots of other women had a better experience.
You might be a little isolated if you dont have other mothers to talk to. Even if you speak Italian there is still a barrier when making friends here, I find other mums here are a bit frightened to talk to me because I'm English.

If I do it again (!) I will probably have the baby in the UK, where I would be in more control, but then bring him/her up here.

Hope this helps and good luck whatever you decide

Oh and if you like you can check out my blog which will give you a good idea of how I'm getting on as a mum!

quote:

Thinking about it we actually spend very little on her, most of her clothes have been gifted & ditto with the furniture and baby equipment.
My mum tells me that babies bring everything they need with them and now I kinda know what she means, Lila doesn't go without and we both only work part time.

Without being Italy-specific , I have to agree with Yael and her mother.
Our son is 5½ now and not once in these 5½ years have we had any kind of financial stability for a number of reasons (mostly unemployment). It still works, and he has never been lacking of anything.

First of all, babies don't necessarily cost so much. It's perfectly possible to spend thousands and thousands on them, but it's not necessary.

Second, once the baby's there you don't really have a choice. You have to make it work, and somehow you do.

Third, you'll be amazed by the number of gifts you (or rather the baby) get. And if you would consider using second hand clothes, strollers etc, the possibilities are neverending. Everybody seems to have their attics filled with stuff!

Okay this is not sounding as encouraging as I meant it to be. But really, just relax and go with the flow and everything will turn out just fine. If you indeed are pregnant, then CONGRATULATIONS and best wishes!!!

sure puts another twist on my strange baby dreams. I had one last night about a little girl little in a trailer park with no arms. it was pretty scary.

don't worry. I feel nothing but ENcouraged by all of your words and thoughts.

How have your marriages been impacted? the hubby really wanted to wait a while so that we would have time to grow together, etc. and become a strong couple. I understand his concern, but I also feel like we can still have that closeness. thoughts?

yael...what kind of work do you do(if you don't mind me asking).

I'm an English teacher, don't want to do it forever but at the moment it's perfect. I can choose my own hours and I never do more than two in a row so I can breastfeed without having to pump!

quote:

Originally posted by LoPorto:
sure puts another twist on my strange baby dreams. I had one last night about a little girl little in a trailer park with no arms. it was pretty scary.

don't worry. I feel nothing but ENcouraged by all of your words and thoughts.

How have your marriages been impacted? the hubby really wanted to wait a while so that we would have time to grow together, etc. and become a strong couple. I understand his concern, but I also feel like we can still have that closeness. thoughts?

Babies take 9 months to come for a reason, you'll both do a lot of growing (up and closer) and by the time she/he arrives you'll be more than ready.

I couldn't agree more.
My husband and I had been a couple for 6 months when I got pregnant (I had just turned 20!). On April 28 we will celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary.

I won't lie to you and say that it's never hard, but it's all about making the decision to live together and not give up. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Enjoy the up-times and endure the low-times.

Speaking of my own experience, I'd say that nothing is impossible if you just put your mind to it.

tears. yes I am sitting at my very exposed desk at the moment, wiping away tears. I really hope that we are able to meet someday. I do know that we will get through it all, with or without baby. the hubby is very emotionally and I just worry for him.

I still don't know. I had bloodwork done, but I can't get the results until tomorrow. I think I am going to do an at-home. I just have to know.

yael--I am thinking about doing the same (who isn't hahaha). but it seems perfect for the might-be baby on the way. did you get TEFL certified?

Yes I did, there's more info on the teaching under latest additions up in the right hand corner of this page.

...and can you please let us know the test results, I'm on the edge of my seat now!

Relax, you'll be fine. Just don't forget to let us know the result!

I'd like to share my Italian birthing experience. I got pregnant in Italy and never once thought about not having the baby here. I initially chose a hospital a 25 minute drive from my house because it had a good reputation and the babies could room (but behind a glass partition when there were guests) with the mother in a room shared with 2 other new mothers. Towards the end of the pregnancy on the recommendation of a friend, I changed my mind and chose a private clinic 10 minutes from my house, which had private rooms and a fabulous labor delivery room with a tub for a water birth as well as birthing balls and hanging ropes etc. I was having a text book pregnancy, and had little fear about the brth. About two weeks from my due date, it seemed to me the baby had slowed down considerably in his movement. I'd heard babies have little room at the end, so I chalked it up to that. The next day, I decided this wasn't normal, so I went to the clinic around 5 pm to check it out. The nurses hooked me to a moniter to trace his heartbeat. After an hour, they said the doctor wasn't there, but to come back at 8pm. They didn't seem particularly worried, so I left and returned at 8. I was hooked up again. At 10 pm a doctor finally appeared and said the baby was in severe distress and they were calling an ambulance to take me to the nearest hospital. Now this clinic is equipped for C-sections. My friend had both her girls there by C-section. Why did they want to ship me off? Well they only do low risk pregnancies and over the course of those 5 HOURS!!!!, I went from low to high risk. In the end, I had an emergency C at 2:30am at the hospital I had originally chosen, and the baby was whisked off to the Pediatric hospital for two weeks in intensive care. My son is fine and so am I, but no thanks to a clinic that let me hang around for more than 5 hours without ever being seen by a doctor,and only to be shipped of to another hospital. On a more positive note, my medical costs for all the above totaled a big fat 0. Pregnancy is not a disease and shouldn't be treated as one, but anything can happen at any time. Be informed and be prepared.

In Italy, in general, free public hospitals have better doctors and facilities than expensive private hospitals. Like anywhere else I would also go to a university hospital too.

wow- justplainfowkes - your story is really scary. I'm so glad that you and your son are fine now.

Add me to the list of people thinking about having a baby here. I've heard some horror stories about public hospitals in Italy (Yael!) so thought about going the private route even though I really can't afford private insurance. But I guess the privates have their problems too even though you're more likely to get the birthing ball, a private room etc. A lot of Italians tell me that private hospitals are more like swanky hotels - everything is all beautiful and luxurious but maybe the medical care is not as good...?

I guess the thing to do is research to find out which hospital has the best reputation in your area...I have no idea about Rome.

Hi,

I came to believe that unfortunately the story of the "luxurious hotel" is not far from the truth, even if we can't generalize too much: I mean, in Bologna there are top class private clinics above all for bones or post operation followup.
In any case I would say that chosing public, and University, above all in the North is a guarantee. I for one, am considering pregnancy with Gabri and for no reason would chose something different from Clinica Universitaria Policlinico Sant'Orsola.

Rome for RTPM: I have a friend who gave birth C/S at Fatebenefratelli at the Isola Tiberina: she got top treatment above all in medical field even if rooms were as in all Italian hospitals: low for American standards (eg there is more than one bed)

Ciao,
Chiara

LoPorto I thought your question about how a baby affects a relationship very interesting. I am also thinking of having a baby soon (but probably not in Italy) but despite all my despite all my hard thinking e.g. am I ready for this, do I really want to bring another person into this screwed up world etc etc., only recently did my husband bring up his fear that having a baby would change our relationship. We are an extremely tightknit couple, and he got me thinking that yes, having a baby would change the dynamics of our relationship totally. I don't think this is a reason not to have a baby, but I do think that it is something that people don't talk about enough. Any comments on this from all you mums out there?

Our friend just had a baby Jan 1 in Belluno at the public hospital, normal birth no problems, though the hospitals here seem a bit creepy compared to the US she had a nice big room with just one other mom. Stayed there I think 4 or 5 days and seemed happy as a clam about the whole thing.

My wife had our two in the US and because she had so many problems I became way over informed on the subject of women's baby making parts. Our daughter tried to get born over 4 months early and Luisa spent 5 weeks in the hospital followed by complete bedrest. The result was our little miracle healthy, blond haired blue eyed half Italian daughter.

Anyway that's not part of this discussion. I just like to think about it sometimes and the whole experience really made me appreciate what a Mom is willing to sacrafice for the health of her child. Go Moms. The reason I joined it is that I've been wondering about those private clinics in general. I suspect but have no proof that the really good doctors get hired by the national health system as it must be very competitive to get hired and the others have to go into private practice. Though I belive that many health system docs work on the side in private clincs.

It's complicated, I think in all issues of health care we must be very informed consumers. If you are having a baby read everything you can find out about all the potential problems and take your vitamins - don't forget the omega 3 fatty acids, good for baby's brain.

Of course having a baby changes your relationship. It will change you! You get new roles, and above all you get this tiny little person who is suddenly demanding all your attention and energy. All the things you used to take for granted - the smallest things, like taking a shower when you feel like it, or rushing off to the store because you run out of an ingredient to the food you're preparing, having romantic candlelight dinners or sex or going to the movies or sleeping- you just can't do them for a while.

It takes some time to adjust to all of this, absolutely.
The good thing is that it's just for a while. You get used to it, and your child grows so fast.

I think it's important to discuss your roles before the baby arrives. Should the mother be at home full time with the baby while the father is out working and drinking with his friends or whatever? Whose responsibility is it to clean the house, change the diapers, buy groceries? What are your views on parenting and discipline?

Acknowledge that the first one or two years ARE tiresome and involve a lot of changes. Don't give up even if it gets rough at times. Hang in there until the child gets older and you feel that you're getting your feet back on the ground. If you're still constantly at each other's nerves then, fine. But be prepared for the hard times and don't give up during those first years.

Whatever you do, never forget that you are husband and wife too. Don't let parenthood consume you completely. Sooner than you know, your child will manage on its own and then you and your spouse will sit staring at each other with nothing to say if you forget about each other just because you have a child.
Try to get some couple-time. Get a babysitter and go to the pub together, or just take a long walk, or just stay at home doing n-o-t-h-i-n-g, just the two of you. It can make all the difference in the world.

Having a baby does change your relationship, but not necessarily to the worse.

This is going to be long so pour yourselves a cup of coffee if you plan on reading it.

When I got prenant with Gianna in 1997 I was terrified of Italian hospitals. My OB/GYN assured me that everything would be fine at the hospital in Siena (Le Scotte) and that they were top notch. I went through with all the exams and visits normally. During that time I joined an online mom's group that was for women due in June of that year. Being able to converse and see how others in other parts of the world dealt with the unknown was very enlightening. A couple of the mom's were LLL leaders so I had loads of info about breastfeding available to me. Many of the moms were also AP moms (attachment parenting) and swore by Dr. Sear's The Baby Book. I'll get back to that later.

So I was armed with loads of info on BFing, natural birth, etc. I went for a visit in my 32nd week and while walking down the hill I stepped in a crack in the sidewalk and broke my ankle. The took me to the hospital ER and of course, no one would touch me with a 10 foot pole since I was pregnant. Went to OB and they ran tests, said Gianna was fine and sent me on my way. The ER refused to cast me due to the possibility of swelling so I was just wrapped and on crutches. Well afetr 10 days I went back to my doctor for the visit. We were discussingthe hospital again, what I need to do when I go into labor (call her, etc.) rooming in options, BFing, etc. She said that at the hospital they do not allow rooming in. Once the baby was born they would take her and put her in an incubator for 4 hours. They would also give her a bottle as the baby needs to learn how to eat and the nurses know how to teach them. She also said that I would get to be with the baby only 3 times a day when the nurses thought I should see her. If you all could have seen my face. I told her that it first off, unless she was having problems, an incubator made no sense. Secon d, babies suckle without assistance. Third, I wanted my baby with me not in some cold room with nurses and other babies. I stormed out of the office at that point.

I spoke with a couple of other women and they told me about POggibonsi. They have a mini apartment for giving birth (queen size bed, private bathroom with birthing tub, birthing ball, etc. The father can stay in the room and the baby stays except when they have to do tests. I went and visited. It was a very old place but the mentality was very new. They believed in moms and babies staying together. Do not believe in formula. Do not believe in medicated forced delivery (if you want to deliver standing up, on your knees, in a tub, squating, whatever, it is fine with them. They believe in birth plansand will stick to them. Oh and they had a copy of Dr. Sear's book in their office.

Fast forward 2 months, I am a week over due and they decide to enduce but when I got up that morning to go to the hospital (at that point it was almost an hour away) my water broke. So off we went, no induction necessary. Got there and after 4 hours no contractions. SO they used pitocin to get them started. It worked but after 12 hours of trying everything, she was not moving down and I was not dialated AT ALL! So off to get a C/S. They took me down to the OR, I asked for a spinal which they gave me, they got Gianna out and gave her to me immediately. I started BFing at that moment. They took her to clean her up while they sewed me up. 20 minutes later they wheeled me upstairs. The anesthesiologist (sp?) carried Gianna and handed her to my husband as we came out of the elevator. In the 5 days I stayed in hospital Gianna was only away from me for a few minutes a day when they would weigh her etc. and all of those time my husband took her to the nursery, waited while they did what they had to do and then brought her right back. He stayed with me round the clock.

The only problem I ran into is that I did not know I could ask for pain meds so by the time the spinal wore off, the pain had already gotten ahold of me. I was also not allowed to sit up for 24 hours and I could not eat or drink until I farted. That took many days and after 4 the nun in charge of the place told me to lie and tell the doctor I did so I could get off the IV and start drinking and eeating.

With Stella I had a scheduled C/S. It was much easier on my body. Went in the night before, the did the C/S in the morning, before the spinal wore off completely I asked for pain meds, by that evening I was sitting up , eating and drinking and by late night I was up on my feet. I went home after 2 days that time. Gianna was with us from early morning until evening. No problems with the hospital staff with having a 1.5 year old hanging about all day.

They have now moved to a brand new hospital, beautifully done with beds that go up and down, TVs and phones inthe room, etc. Looks just like the hospitals I was used to in San Francisco.

The poiint of this long post . . . it is your body and your baby and you need to take control. This is very hard for many of us because of language barriers but if you are in control, you won't feel as scared. When I walked out of my first docto's office I felt like I was 10 fett tall. I was no longer scared about having a baby. Check out the hospitals in your area, ask loads of questions and go with where you feel is the best fit for you.

About The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. What can I say, this is my reference book even though my kids are older. When Gianna got her first chicken pox spot, the first thing I did was grab that and read what he said. It was a lifesaver for the million questions a mom has at the begining. He also made me feel like I was not weird for wanting to be hand's on in every aspect. I cannot recommend this book enough!

quote:

Originally posted by Annika:
Having a baby does change your relationship, but not necessarily to the worse.

Holy words.

Marino and I are 15 years apart -he's the older!- and when we started togheter we declared to the world that we NEVER wanted to have chilldren, due to several facts.

He was coming out of a bad marriage

I always thought I hated children

Our lifestile, always out for lunch, dinner and so forth. We were antique dealers and that meant stay away from home for days.

Our echonomical situation -BAAAAD at the time.

My worries about the world we would have put our child in.

At the moment -17 years after those worries- after 2 children my opinion are as follow

Not all marriages are the same -we're not even married. It is the meeting of the right 2 people all that counts. There is the right time for all.

I found out that I LOVE children, right time.

Our life stile... It has changed, yes, of course we eat at home more and we go out less, but, cause "right time" neither me nor Marino regrets it. It is like we did the right change at the right moment. I have passed my youth in discos and clubs, he's been having fun with gilrs when it was his time. The change is good. IF THE CHANGES ARE DONE AT THE RIGHT TIME, CHANGES ARE GOOD. Michael Shaun and his wife have a "romantic day rule" and I promptly copied it! Every week we have a day off!. I call my baby sitter on fridays evening, and Marino and I go out. No talks about kids, no worries about colds or homework. Maybe also drink a little more than necessary! Just you and I!!

If you wait to be echonomically safe, you can wait forever! JUMP!!

Instead of worring about this world, I started to think that maybe my kids will be the ones that woill change something. Curing a disease, Discovering that particular gene. Or just by their example people could realize how much love in this world is to share...maybe I am dreaming, but I am a positive person and I refuse to become negataive about my kids.

I want to tell you another thing, though. A child will not be ONLY your child, but also your husband's. Mine sterted to change opinion about children the more I gently involved in all. We mothers sometime think that Pregnancy is ONLY a female thing. Well it is not. Share your thoughts with him and do not exclude him. EVER. It pays off.